12 Years

by ~ViolentKiwi3511

1.
A sea of puppies to choose from.
We chose you,
Your fur was soft
And I was four and wanted to call you "Fluffy."
We decided on "Jett,"
Because of the way you raced around the yard.
Mom came home from work,
Completely surprised.
Getting you had been a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Purebred black lab, 4 months old, free.
2.
You had an affinity for brightly colored socks.
You would steal them from my floor
And a few days later,
They would be out in the yard.
I had many mismatched socks.
Once, a neighbor boy left his socks in the sandbox.
You got them, and, well,
Mom found them a few days later
After nature had done its duty.
She washed them and gave them back,
Leaving out the part where
Our dog ate them.
3.
You are the reason
All of our trashcans are under the sinks.
To the very end, you loved Kleenex.
My dad called them "pre-wipes,"
Eliciting groans from all of us.
4.
You weren't supposed to eat people food,
But we spoiled you.
You would come running if someone had cheese
And I always gave you a scoop of vanilla
If I was having ice cream.
You even managed to get a few hamburgers
From when I would leave them on the table
And walk away.
And once, my cousins and brothers and I
Built a fort at the cabin by raising the hammock
And throwing a blanket over it.
We ate Froot Loops and fed you half the box.
You threw up rainbows on the deck.
My dad hosed it off as we apologized to you.
I guess we shared too much.
4.
We used to be able to feed you Cheerios
From our fingers.
Around the campfire at the cabin,
My mom tried doing the with the neighbor dog
And a marshmallow.
Guess who was more gentle?
6.
You loved Daddy best,
No doubt about it.
If we wrestled him when we were little
Or we climbed on him too much,
Or hugged him too long,
You would bark, wanting attention.
You always slept on his side of the bed
And when he went on business trips,
Mom said she would always hear you
Patrolling the house throughout the night.
7.
You were a water dog,
And a protector.
If we swam at the cabin,
You swam.
If I screamed of laughter,
You would jump into the lake
To save me, thinking I was in trouble.
You always had to watch over us,
Especially the littlest ones.
And we couldn't go on the speedboat without you.
Whoever drove,
You would sit at their feet.
Or else you would go to the front
And let the wind blow back your ears.
I bet you wished summer was all year long.
8.
You hated thunderstorms.
Our big, black dog,
Afraid of thunder.
We would find you in the basement,
Between the couch and the coffee table,
Hiding.
9.
You were in the middle of everything,
If we watched a movie downstairs,
You were with us.
If we were all in the kitchen,
You were there.
If company was over,
You would be the first to greet them.
You would stand in the middle of conversations,
Waiting to be pet.
You were such a people dog.
And people loved you.
10.
I was never able to give you walks.
Always, always, always,
You were too big.
We were always the same size.
We grew up together,
Got big together.
Even when you were little,
You were big to me.
Once, I tried giving you a walk.
I was fourteen or fifteen,
And it was just to the corner and back.
You pulled too much for me to be successful.
I guess that's what happens
When we're the exact same size.
11.
You wagged your tail all the time.
It was dangerous.
How many times had we gotten whacked in the shins
And almost knocked over?
Although I suppose it's good,
Because it means you were happy all the time.
12.
You got cancer around Christmas,
The same time as Dad.
Only Dad's cancer could be removed.
Yours was too tangled with everything.
You slept more
And tired easily
And that bottomless stomach
Seemed to grow a bottom.
And you had a cyst on your tail that bled.
How many times had we cleaned up
What looked like a murder scene
Because you had wagged your tail while it bled?
How many times had we had to coax you still
While we bandaged you up?
And how many times did it kill me
To stop you from trying to lick my face
Because the cancer made your breath smell like rot?
We didn't take pictures those last months
Because we didn't want to remember you like that.
But I remember.
And I remember sitting on the floor with you
Petting you and holding you and crying
As the doctor ended your life.
Spencer came home from college that weekend,
But he didn't come with then.
We didn't force him.
We all dealt with it differently.
And that weekend ended,
Along with your like,
As we lost what had added so much.